Jet Set Romeo and Juliet
by The Lotus
Summary: ACT V! Been a while, people. For all the people that don't know me...review anyway! XD
1. Act I

(A/N: Here it is! Romeo and Juliet! Oh, and I must remind you again, that I am no good at romance stuff. It's all so different from killing all my characters. What? I get to do that later on? COOL! On with the story!)  
  
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Two Gangs  
One City  
An Ancient Feud  
Reignited By Hatred  
And Ended By The Actions  
Of Two Young Lovers  
  
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SCENE I - A Tussle In The Tainted Town  
  
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"Man, we been sittin' here all day!" Silt complained, glancing at his watch, "There aren't any Montagues here!"   
  
Silt and Stain stood, leaning up against a wall, both looking around for members of their rival gang, The Montagues.   
  
"I've said it once, and I'll say it again," Stain said bitterly, "There's only room enough for one gang in Verona-Cho."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I get that, but what's that got to do with standing here all day and-"  
  
"Shhhhh!" Stain put a finger up to his lips, silencing Silt immediately. With the other hand, he pointed over to a clearing, in which two rudies wearing red were now tagging the front window of a small shop. He shot Silt a grin before making his way over to two, gesturing for his partner to follow.   
  
"Well," Stain began, a smug grin covering his face, "Look what we have here."  
  
The two whirled around, their smiles fading into scowls. "What do you two want?" one spat, his hand clenched around his paint can, as if looking for an excuse to use it.  
  
"Oh, nothing." Stain said with mock innocence, "just wanted to see the horrible excuses for tags you guys are painting these days." He pretended to inspect the half-finished tag, "Wow, is that it? I've sneezed up better stuff than that!"  
  
The Montague on the left's eyes widened, as he raised his spray can, and gave it a few shakes. "You looking for a fight, Capulet?"  
  
"As a matter of fact," Stain said, grinning and raising a spray can of his own, "That's what I've been looking for all day."  
  
Silt threw the first punch, striking the left Montague across the face. The Montague stumbled back as the other jumped towards Stain, catching him off guard and streaking him across the face with his paint.  
  
"What the?!? What the hell do you think you're doing?" A smallish kid in a green hoodie made his way between the two feuding parties, spreading his arms to keep them away. "Quit it, all of you! I thought we agreed that we wouldn't just start fights anywhere we want! Or did you forget that the Keisatsu are everywhere?" The kid drew his own paint can, raising it up so all of them could plainly see it. "I mean it."  
  
"HA! What's this?" A taller kid, jacket pulled up, covering half his face, skated toward them, giving the green-clothed kid a skeptical look.  
  
"Slate!" he yelled to him, "Give me a hand here!"  
  
"Talking about peace with that spraycan in your hand, Yo-yo?" Slate scoffed, "I don't think so." He reached into his back pocket, grabbing a bright red spray can.   
  
"Well, what do we have here?" A tall, well-built man made his way into the square, wearing a red shirt and baggy grey jeans. "A fight? Jazz! Hand me my paint!"  
  
A black shirted, bleach-haired woman made her way in behind him, wrapping her arms around him and trying to pull him away. "Please, don't get involved, Clutch. It's too dangerous!"  
  
Yet another pair made their way into the square, one a huge, dark-skinned man, clad in black, a huge golden yen symbol around his neck, a boombox held in one hand. The other was a short, pale-complexioned woman, also dressed in black. "Now this is what I'm talking about!" the man exclaimed, moving towards the fray of people, spraycan in hand.  
  
The next thing they heard was sirens. Pedestrians dived out of the way as a police car stopped just inches from the assembled party. The sirens ceased and out stepped a shortish man, black hair that looked as if it was from a bad '70's movie, 5 o' clock shadow clearly visible, along with a gun holstered at his waist.   
  
"What have I told you?" he said, a mixture of despair and rage, "This has happened three times before! It's been three times that you've disturbed the peace of Verona-cho! Last time it almost cost a life! I'm warning you.......all of you; if this happens again, the people responsible will get Life. I mean it." he added, stalking back to his police car. He backed up, narrowly missing a few people, before hitting the gas and taking off around the corner.  
  
One by one, the people began to leave the square, each one leaving the same way they came in, until only the Yo-yo, and the couple dressed in black were left.   
  
"Yo-yo," the woman began, "where's Beat? I thought he was with you?"  
  
Yo-yo shook his head. "He's been acting pretty weird lately, Cube. It seems like he's avoiding me."  
  
"Neither me nor Combo has seen him much this week. He wakes up, leaves all day, then comes back when we're all sleeping."  
  
Combo nodded in Yo-yo's direction. "There he is."   
  
"Listen, Yo-yo," Cube said, "could you do us a favor and find out what's wrong with him? You two are best friends, after all. Here he comes. Thanks so much for doing this."  
  
The two turned, trying to blend in with the other passers-by, as they discreetly made their way out of the square.  
  
"Hey!" Yo-yo called, making his way over to his friend. "Yo, Beat. What's wrong? You look....lost, or something."  
  
"I'm uh....I'm OK, Yo-yo." He gave a half-smile, the kind you see on a heartbroken man trying to convince people he's alright.  
  
The smaller rudie cocked his head to the side, looking carefully at Beat. "C'mon, out with it. I know there's something wrong, I just don't know what it is."  
  
Beat let out an exasperated sigh, turning and leaning up against a nearby wall. "It's just this girl," he began, only to be cut off by his friend.  
  
"Oooooh, OK. I see where this is going. Lemme guess, you asked this girl out but she never returned your calls, am I right?"  
  
Beat shook his head, a sorrowful grin tugging at his lips. "Not exactly....."  
  
"What is it then?"  
  
"This girl....Rose.....she's a good friend of the Capulets....practically a member."  
  
Yo-yo stared incredulously at him. "The Capulets?" He gave an amused whistle, "That's deep, buddy. Your best bet is to just forget about it. This Rose chick is off-limits."  
  
Beat sighed. "That's what I've been thinking about for the past couple of days.....I want her to fall in love with me like I have with her...but she doesen't even know I exist!"  
  
Yo-yo stifled a laugh. "So, you're telling me that you're crazy about this girl, and she has no idea who you are? Sounds like a stalker case to me."  
  
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Scene II - Illiteracy Pays Off  
  
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"C'mon, Clutch." The young man pleaded, "You're the leader of the gang! Can't you just order her to go out with me or something?"   
  
Clutch gave a low chuckle, shaking his head amusedly. "What makes you think I can do that? I'm not a tyrant. Besides, she'd never listen to me anyway. As much as I like you, Disk, I can't just say "Hey, go out with him"."  
  
The young kid gave a groan, running a hand through his short brown hair.  
  
"Try and win her over," Clutch continued, "Maybe I can't convince her, but perhaps you can. Go sweep her off her feet, Disk-o. Oh, that reminds me. Pelt! Pelt, you here?"  
  
"Right here, boss." The kid ambled into the living room, a grin covering his face. "What'cha want, boss?"  
  
"Well, first of all, stop calling me "boss". Second of all, did you get that list I left you? The one with all the people on it?"  
  
Pelt produced a crumpled piece of paper from his jean pocket. "Here it is, boss."  
  
"Good. Now do me a favor and go get all those people. We're having a Halloween party here tonight. I want you to invite all of 'em, alright?"  
  
"Sure thing boss!"  
  
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"Alright, first up....Rock, Rain and uh.....damnit...who is that?" Pelt squinted, looking at the small, four-letter word in confusion. Rock....Rain....and who? He tapped a passerby on the shoulder without looking up. "Hey buddy, what does this say?"   
  
The voice hesitated for a second as he read the small handwriting. The kid gave a surprised gasp. "It says "Rose"....."  
  
"YES! That's it! Thanks man!" he said, still looking down at the list as he skated off, leaving Beat and Yo-yo to think....  
  
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"I say we go, man. We can crash that party and you can see your little love-muffin!"  
  
"How?" Beat reasoned, "Every single person in the Capulets knows our faces. How would we get in there?"  
  
"Well, if you'd care to check a calender before you went to bed, today happens to be October 31st. Halloween. What other party do you have on Halloween besides a Halloween party?"  
  
Beat sighed, but Yo-yo could tell he was happy. "Alright," he conceded, trying to hide a grin, "We'll go. But just for a little while."  
  
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Scene III - Disk Is Cool! Go Out With Him!  
  
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"Where the hell is she?" Jazz muttered, glancing over at the girl beside her. "Piranha..." she pleaded, "would you get her in here please?"  
  
Piranha chuckled, shaking her head. "GUM!" she yelled, "C'MERE!"  
  
Seconds later, a tall, slim girl wearing a light green dress and a grey helmet skated in, pretending to plug her ears. "Geez, 'Rahna, think you could've been a little louder?"  
  
The girl simply smiled.  
  
"Ya know that guy came back around here asking about you...." Jazz said, grinning.  
  
"Ugh," she groaned, "Disk's back again? I thought I got rid of him last time....I mean, to any other guy, a swift kick to the pills is a clear sign for him to back off."  
  
"Well, Clutchy seems to like him...."  
  
"Well I don't. You don't know him. He just plays sweet in front of you and Clutch.  
  
"He's going to be at the party tonight, ya know."  
  
She groaned again. "Well then I'm not going. I cannot stand to even be in the same room as him."  
  
"Oh come on," Jazz said pleadingly, "just go there and see him. Maybe you'll change your opinion about him."  
  
"And maybe," Gum said with a scoff, "I will fall in love with a Montague."  
  
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Scene IV - A Boring Story That I Had To Cut Out  
  
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"Hurry it up, Beat! We're almost there!"  
  
"Calm down, Tab. I'm coming...."  
  
"Yeah, take it easy, Tabster," Yo-yo said, "Can't you see the man's nervous? He's going to see the girl that has no idea who he is, and then proceed to declare his undying love to her."  
  
"I'm sure it'll be interesting to see what happens next," Tab added, "restraining order, slap in the face, kick to the jimmy, etc......oh yeah, this is gonna be a good night. Reminds of this time when I was mackin' this chick, and she was all like, "Oh Tabby....", and then I was like-"  
  
"Tab, shut up!" Beat said, breaking his silent streak.  
  
"Well, if you insist, Mr. Grumpy."  
  
Beat sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. I just....I got a really bad feeling about this party."  
  
"That, sir, is common sense. I do my best to ignore it."  
  
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Scene V - Beat and Gum Sitting In A Tree.......  
  
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Beat stood to the side, pretending to watch his two companions as they "cruised for chicks", but was lost in his own thoughts. Where was Rose? "I knew it," he mumbled, "this party was nothing but a big waste of time....  
  
Then he saw her. His heart jumped around in his chest. That romantic music that plays when you fall in love.....he thought he heard that, too. Rose who?  
  
"Yo, Beat," Tab called, making his way over to him, "Why don't you come over here and......hey, what's wrong?"  
  
"Her," he said, gesturing to the young girl, "She's......she's so beautiful."  
  
"Who is she?" Tab asked  
  
"I have no idea....."  
  
Tab patted him on the shoulder, shaking his head with a chuckle. "Good luck man,"  
he said, moving back onto the dance floor.  
  
"Excuse me," Beat said, grabbing the nearest person, "who is that girl over there?"  
  
"Oh, her?" the man said with a laugh, "That is....um...Gum, I believe."  
  
"Beat!" a voice boomed, "Beat the Montague!"  
  
Beat turned to face the person, only to be confronted by an angry Slate. "What do you want?" Beat said quietly.  
  
"Well, I'd like your skates bronzed and put up on my wall. And I can never wait to get what I want," he said, drawing a spray can.  
  
"Oooh no ya don't," Clutch said, grabbing Slate by the collar and pulling him within whispering range. He muttered a few words into the rudie's ear before giving him a gentle shove toward the door. "Go cool off. I don't want any fighting at the party."  
  
The song changed suddenly, going from "The Scrappy" to "Put Your Hands On My Shoulder" by Good Charlotte (A/N: A slow song, if you hadn't guessed.). Beat saw his chance. He walked slowly, making his way over to the girl. He held out a hand, asking the unsaid question, and to his joy, she took it, giving him a shy smile.  
  
The two moved slowly, joining hands, and moving their feet in unison, resembling a well-rehearsed choreography as they danced, hands on each other's shoulders. Cliched as it sounds, they did indeed look longingly into each other's eyes, lost in the trance that is "love-at-first-sight".   
  
As the song faded, the two leaned in, sharing a long, passionate kiss. They stood there, locked in bliss until Piranha's voice called out to her.   
  
"Gum! Jazz wants you!"  
  
Gum broke the kiss reluctantly, giving a shy smile at Beat, before dashing off. Beat began walking slowly, as if in a stupor, off the dance floor, only to be met with a sly smile from Piranha.  
  
"Sooo I'm guessing you kinda like Gum, huh?"  
  
Beat went red, as he ran a hair through his hair. "You could say that. Who was she anyway?"  
  
"That's Gum."  
  
"Oh....is she a friend of the Capulets?"  
  
"Nope," she said with a wink, "even better. She's one of 'em."  
  
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Gum lay sprawled out on her bed, a dumb smile spread across her face. "Hey 'Rahna!" she called.  
  
The girl skated in quickly, the perpetual smile still plastered on her face. "What's up, Gum?"  
  
"Do you know who that guy was?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. He was asking about you after you left. I remember him. His name's Beat. That Montague that Slate was trying to start up with."  
  
"A........Montague?" she asked, her face turning grim and depressed. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Mmhmm. Told me so himself. He seemed kinda shocked that you were a Capulet, too."   
  
"I can't believe this," Gum said, squeezing her eyes shut to ward off the threatening tears, "It can't be....."  
  
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	2. Act II

(A/N: The reference of 'pie' is used several times in this chapter, and probably in future chapters.  Since the play calls for occasional crude humor, I'm using 'pie' instead of sex.  So much funnier, wouldn't you say?) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SCENE 1-Pie and Marriage 

Beat leapt up, his hands catching on the wooden picket fence.  He pulled himself up, grunting as he slung himself over, barely keeping his footing as he landed on the grass.  He crouched low, looking between the small spaces of the fence at his two pursuers.

"BEAT!" Tab yelled, looking around as he dashed into the square, "BEAT!  WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO?"

Yo-yo followed close behind, seeminlgly less frantic, but still worried nonetheless.  "Yeah, C'mon Beat!  Joke's over, come on out!"

"I'll tell you where he went," Tab began, giving Yo-yo a quick nudge, "he went to go mack on that chick from last night.  Went to go tap that ass!" he cupped his hands around his mouth, pitching his voice so almost everyone in the square could hear, "WENT TO GO GET SOME PIE, HUH BEAT?"

Yo-yo groaned, grabbing Tab by the collar and dragging him out of the square to continue the search.

"Finally," Beat muttered, turning to inspect his surroundings.  He was in the back of the Capulet HQ.  Nothing special.  A few shrubs, and…..a balcony.  Not bad.  Beat crept towards the balcony, humming the Mission: Impossible theme before he heard footsteps above.  Muttering a few curse words, he dove under the cover of the balcony.

()()()()()()()()()()()

Gum stepped out onto the small concrete balcony adjoining her room.  She hadn't gotten any sleep the night before, and it showed in the dark bags under her eyes, and her strained, sluggish movements.  She grasped the rusty iron handles, leaning forward to look at the sun rising over Verona-Cho.  "Beat…..why did you have to be a Montague?  Of all the things for love to do to me…..the man I love is a Montague…."

Beat took the opportunity before him, stepping out of the balcony's cover.  "I love you, too, Gum.  I don't care if you're a Capulet, I love you with all my heart."

"You do?" Gum asked, a smile spreading across her face.

"I do."

Her face suddenly turned concerned.  "I…I hope you are telling the truth…I don't want to get hurt again."

"I would sooner die than hurt you, Gum.  You've gotta believe me."

Gum's smile returned.  "I do…."

A yell was heard, the voice echoing throughout the house.  "GUM!  HEY GUM!  C'MERE!"

Gum slowly backstepped into the house, taking a quick, adoring look down at Beat before rushing into the house.

No more than 30 seconds later, she had returned.  "If you really love me," she began, "ask me to marry you.  Tell me when and where to meet you, and I'll be there."

"GUM!  GUM!  C'MERE!"

Gum rushed off again, rolling her eyes.

Beat stood, his clouded eyes hidden behind his sunglasses.  Marriage?  He hadn't expected something like that this fast; but he loved this girl.  Marriage seemed like a good idea.  Yeah….Mr. and Mrs. Uh…….Beat.  Sure.  That had a ring to it.  With a chuckle, Beat turned, and began to make his way over the fence.  He had work to do.

Scene II- The Best He Could Find On Short Notice… 

It was about noon when Beat found Father Garam.  Well, that's what everyone called him.  Beat had heard that he had been kicked out of his church after he was caught with some…herbs.  He could still marry people, as well as perform all of his priestly duties, but he now spent most of his time using his special 'herb', and snacking out on his couch.

The Father was watering a few plants.  "What do you want, kid?"

"I need you to marry me."

The man, turned, lifting a brow as he looked Beat up and down, before turning back to his work.  "Sorry, but you aren't my type."

Beat sweatdropped.  "No, I didn't mean it like that!  I meant I need you to marry me and this girl."

"I know you…Beat.  You're a Montague.?"

"Uh…yeah.  How'd you know."

"I'm psychic.  So who're you marrying?"

Beat's cheeks reddened a bit.  "Her name's Gum."

Garam gave him a wry look.  "The Capulet?"

"Yeah."

The Father chuckled.  "This is gonna be interesting….."

Scene III-Back To Normal 

"Please, door, don't creak." Beat whispered, turning the handle softly.  He pushed the door gently, surprised to not hear the sickening creak that usually accompanied it's opening.  He crept in, turning to close the door behind him when…

"Well look who it is!" a voice boomed amusedly.

Beat whirled around to see Tab and Yo-yo, sprawled out on the couch, grinning over at him.  "Late night, eh, Beaty?"

"I was out shopping for deodorant for you, Tab.  I didn't want to be too obvious, though."

"Ouch.  That hurt.  How was your pie?"

"Better than yours, I'll bet.  I hear you get it from that 60 year old lady with the mustache across the street."

"Beat!  I'm shocked!  A) Your mother isn't that old, and B) She shaves her mustache now.  She says 'hi', by the way."

"Ew, Tabster!  You have any idea what's been in my mom?"

"You."

"My point exactly."  
Tab grinned widely.  "Well, aren't we sociable!  It's about time you got back to normal.  Where the hell have you been?"

"Visiting _your_ mom."

Tab cuffed him lightly across the chin, chuckling to himself when they heard a soft knock on the door.

The three gathered curiously around the door, as Beat opened it to reveal a slim, dark-skinned girl wearing a tight white midriff and tighter white leather pants.  "Uh…hi!"

The three waved weakly.

"Beat," she said, stepping inside, "I need to talk to you."

Tab smiled at the girl, making little kissing faces.  "Ya know, I could really, really go for some chocolate pie right now.  How about it, baby?"

"I'm thinking no, cowboy.  There's a reason I'm called Piranha."

Tab glanced down worriedly at his….ahem, unit, then back up to the girl.  "Point taken."

"Thought so.  Now Beat," she said, turning to him, "My friend Gum is ready to meet you any time.  She's really eager to get married, I suppose."

Beat ignored the wide-eyed looks of his two friends, giving a nod.  "Tell her to meet me at the at the 24-Hour Chapel up on Haoken Way at noon tomorrow."

"Perfect," she said, making her way towards the door.  She gave Tab a quick wink before leaving shutting the door behind her.

"So Beat," Yo-yo said with a grin, "tell us about this 'marriage' stuff…."

Scene IV-Persuasion 

Gum paced impatiently in her room, glancing at her watch every five seconds.  She still hadn't slept, but all traces of fatigue were gone now, replaced by worry.  She almost exploded when Piranha poked her head into the room.

"Did you see him?  What did he say?  Was he there?  He wasn't there?  What happened?  Is he hurt?  Oh my god, he's dead isn't he?  I knew it!  Oh, lord…."

"Whoa, whoa, take it easy.  Beat's fine.  He isn't dead.  He told me just what you wanted to know; but…."

"But what?" Gum asked frantically.

"My back is really really sore….all that skating around.  I don't think I can remember all that information when my back is in this condition…."

Gum scowled.  "Stop playing around, Piranha.  Tell me, already."

Piranha simply moaned, pointing at her back.  

Gum moved behind her with a sigh, rubbing her shoulders.  "Better?"

"Much."

"You going to tell me now."

"Sure…later.  But for now, keep rubbing….."

Scene V-Here Comes The Gum, All Dressed In…Something That Rhymes With 'Gum'

It was 12:04 by the time Gum and Piranha made it to the chapel.  Not that Beat was counting or anything.

"Well," Garam said, glancing from Beat to Gum, "Shall we?"

Beat looked at Gum.  "Ready?"

She nodded, smiling at him.

"Yeah…..we're ready."

"Excellent.  Now, if you'll follow me, it's time to for you two lovebirds to get married."

(A/N: Yeah, I know that last scene was short, but in the actual play you never read about them getting married, it just sorta happens.  Oh well. ^ ^)


	3. Act III

(A/N: YOOOOOO! Thanks to all the people who reviewed Act II. I'm now writing from my base of operations at....my grandparent's house, so I might not be able to pump out fics that fast...not that I do anyway. Well, no matter. ON WITH ACT 3!!)  
  
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Act III- Buy Two Deaths (YAY!) and get a Banishment Half-Off!  
  
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Scene I - Ouch! That'll Leave a Mark!  
  
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"Uh....OK, what time is it now?" Tab asked, peering over Yo-Yo's shoulder.  
  
"The same time it was when you asked thirty seconds ago," Yo-Yo muttered, giving him a light elbow, "Five-thirty."  
  
"Man," Tab groaned, kicking absently at the ground, "He should've been here half an hour ago, damnit!"  
  
"Awwww," a voice called, "looky here."  
  
Tab and Yo-Yo turned to see...none other than Slate, a bright yellow paint can in hand.  
  
"What do you want?" Tab scoffed.  
  
"Well, I was actually looking for your buddy Beat. I'm gonna pay him back for humiliating me at that party two nights ago..."  
  
"Oh, piss off Slate," Tab said, waving him away, "why don't you go cry me a river, then build a bridge and get over it!"  
  
Beat appeared behind his two companions, a mixture of confusion and worry covering his face. "You guys having a nice talk over here?"  
  
"Ah, Beat!" Slate boomed, a smile covering his face. "Just the wank I wanted to see. I hope you're ready to settle this."  
  
"C'mon, Slate," Beat reasoned, holding up his hands, "I don't want to settle anything. I don't have any problems with the Capulets. I just went to the party to have a good time!"  
  
"And," Tab started, "to get some pi-ugh!" Tab doubled over, cut off by yet another elbow. This time from Beat.  
  
The Capulet glared at Beat suspiciously, speaking between gritted teeth. "No...we settle this right now!"  
  
"Listen...I don't want to fight you. I...I can't."  
  
"Aw, is big bad Beat afraid now," Slate mocked, shaking his can, "fine. If you don't want to fight, I'll just kick your ass. Easier for me."  
  
"Slate...stop. I don't want to do this. I swore to Gum that I wouldn't do anything to harm any of you..."  
  
Slate scoffed. "Ha! What a load of crap! What, are you married to her or something?"  
  
Beat nodded slowly, allowing a few seconds of silence to pass, "Yeah...I am."  
  
The Capulet started to laugh, but stopped quickly seeing only grave truth in Beat's eyes. "No...no, you're lying! You've got to be! Gum doesn't love you! She loves me!" Slate reached into his back pocket and drew a small, nickel-plated pistol, pointing it right between Beat's eyes. "You're lying..." he whispered, "tell me that you're lying."  
  
Surprisingly, Tab was the first to break the silence...with his annoying laugh. "HA! Gimme a break, Slate, put that little toy lighter away and get out of here before you get hurt."  
  
"...Don't...push me...Tab..."  
  
"Well, here I am, pushing you. What are you gonna do about it, huh Slate? C'mon! C'MON!"  
  
Slate moved like a blur, shifting the gun and firing it...right into Tab's face. The blue-clad Rudie's head jerked back, as he dropped to the ground. He didn't move.  
  
Yo-Yo rushed down to his fallen friend's side. "Tab...Tab, oh no...Tab, wake up..."  
  
Beat went numb when he heard the shot. He didn't even bother to look...but he knew what had happened. He stepped forward and kicked at Slate's hand, knocking the gun into the air...and into his own hands.  
  
"Tab..." Beat leveled the gun at Slate. "God, Slate...what have you done?"  
  
"Hey...take it easy, there, guy..." Slate laughed nervously, discreetly reaching behind his back, and digging into his pocket...finally, he found it... a small switchblade. "C'mon, man, can't we just forgive and forget here?"  
  
"No...no, what we're going to do is wait for Onishima...and then you're going to jail...for a long, long time."  
  
"Sorry, Beat," Slate said with a grin, "I can't do that." He pulled the blade out from behind his back, rushing forward...  
  
...Only to be stopped by a bullet. Beat had squeezed the trigger, the slug catching Slate in the forehead. He stopped moving...and crumpled to the ground.  
  
The Montague stood in shock, the gun still pointing down at Slate's body. "No...no...what did I do? No...Slate...I killed him...I killed him."  
  
"Beat!," Yo-Yo called, rushing away from Tab to him, "Beat, listen to me! You need to get out of here! Now!"  
  
"But I...I can't...Slate...Gum..."  
  
"No, you need to forget about them now. I want you to go someplace safe, now. GO!" He pushed Beat roughly, "GO!"  
  
Yo-Yo watched as Beat ran off into the distance and disappeared into an alleyway...it was only moments later that he heard the sirens.  
  
The small, black and white police cruiser screeched to a halt mere feet from Yo-Yo.   
  
From it emerged the stubble-faced, squat Onishima, a disbelieving expression on his face. "What the...WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!?!"  
  
Yo-Yo turned to face the police chief, his mournful eyes hidden by his 3-D glasses. He began to talk, explaining how he and Tab had been waiting for Beat to arrive, how Slate arrived, looking for trouble. He conveniently left out the part where Beat admitted he was married to Gum, but still told Onishima about how Slate had shot Tab, and then how Beat had shot Slate when he began to attack him.  
  
Onishima stood in stunned silence for a moment, looking from one body to the next, "...I knew it. I knew this would happen one day! Instead of you damn rudie's ten-tagging, I wind up with two bodies to clean up. And your little friend Beat...as far as I'm concerned, he's a murderer, and if I ever see his face again, he'll wish I had given him the chair."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Scene II - More Persuasion, and More Bad News  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Gum sat on her bed, hugging her legs to her, head on her knees. She hadn't moved for hours, and had been thinking only of her new husband all the while.  
  
"Beat," Gum sighed, staring longingly out the window, "Where are you? My widdle Meaty Beaty (A/N: Sorry for taking that one, Jessi ^ ^)...my snooky wooky piece of pie..."  
  
A loud knock jerked Gum from her thoughts, as the door opened to reveal a smirking Piranha.  
  
"'Rahna! It's about time! Quick! Tell me what's up! Where's Beat? Is he OK? What's he doing? Is he hurt? Oh, God, he's hurt isn't he!? Oh, I knew it. What's wrong? Will he be alright? Oh, no, he's dying isn't he?" Gum's eyes were wide now, driven to such wild guesses only by Piranha's silence...  
  
...But she couldn't keep it for long. She burst out laughing, making her way to the bed and taking a seat by Gum. "Take it easy, there, girl. "He's fine. Well, sort of. It's been a bad day...I'm surprised you haven't heard about it. But, seeing as you're totally clueless, I must say that my back is stilla bit sore..."  
  
Gum sighed, her face retaining it's expression of worry as she moved behind her friend, starting on her back massage. "Better?"  
  
"Much...ooh, a little to the left...ahh....there...."  
  
Gum suddenly stopped, hopping off the bed and positioning herself so that she was face to face with her friend. "C'mon, no more beating around the bush, what happened?!"  
  
Piranha hopped up off the bed. "Slate's dead," she said, nonplussed.  
  
Gum recoiled a few steps, her hand going over her mouth. "Who...who did it?"  
  
"......Beat......"  
  
She shook her head slowly. "How...how could he do such a thing? He promised me..."  
  
"It's not what you think, ya know. Slate shot Tab first. Beat got pissed, and killed Slate. Onishima...kinda...banned him for life from Verona-Cho. He's actually cutting Beat a break, though...I'm surprised he doesen't go after him with the tanks and dogs like he usually does."  
  
"How can you say all this like it doesn't affect you, 'Rahna? This is terrible..."  
  
She shrugged. "I feel bad and all, but I figure there's no use getting all weepy over it...like you are, for example."  
  
"How can I not be? That's my husband!"  
  
"Look, if it's that bad I'll go get him for you. He's hiding out at Father Garam's. Hope he hasn't tried any of Garam's special 'herbs'..."  
  
Gum's eyes brightened as she locked her friend in a bearhug. "Oh Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Piranha pushed her away, laughing. "No problem. You just stay here...and you might wanna fix yourself up a bit...on second thought, nevermind. You're probably gonna get a little pie...and we all know how messy that can be..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Scene III - Quit Yer Bellyachin'!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The sun had just started to set on Verona-Cho when Father Garam returned to his tiny abode. He found Beat on the couch, staring vividly at his hand, a goofy expression on his face. "D..u..d...e..."  
  
"Hey!" Garam yelled, kicking at the couch, "You been using my herbs?"  
  
"Uh...n...no, I just...got kinda hungry and had a few of those brownies."  
  
"Fool, I oughta...oh, nevermind. I just found out what Onishima's gonna do to you?"  
  
"Death?"  
  
"If he ever sees you again, yes. So basically, you better get the hell outta Dodge."  
  
"Where's that?"  
  
"Forget it. It just means you can't be here. Go set up shop in Mantua-Cho, or something. Just don't be here..."  
  
"Banishment...wish he would've given me death. How can I bear to live without Gum...?"  
  
"Oh, it's not that bad, kid. Look on the bright side..."  
  
"There is no bright side! If you were me, you wouldn't try to be 'looking on the bright side'. I don't want to live if I can't be with Gum..."  
  
"YO," a voice yelled from outside, "OPEN UP!"  
  
Garam moved to the door, unlatching the seven locks and opening the door. "Well, hello there, cutie. Care for a brownie?"  
  
"Uh, no thanks, candyman." Piranha said, rolling her eyes, "I'm here to see Beat. I've got a message from Gum."  
  
Beat snapped out of his 'funk', looking up at Piranha. "Gum? What'd she say?"  
  
"Well, it isn't exactly a message. She wants to see you."  
  
"When?"  
  
"Now."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Scene IV - I SAID 'Disk is Cool! Now get your ass up and...marry him?'  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"That's it!" Clutch boomed, thrusting a finger up into the sky, Corona held in his other hand, "Alright! I've decided!"  
  
"What is it, dear?" Jazz purred, wrapping her arms around him.  
  
"No, not right now. I've no time for your womanish temptations! I'm on a roll! You've seen how broken up Gum is over Slate's death...they were very close friends after all."  
  
"Yeah. So?"  
  
"Well, what if we were to...set up Disk and Gum. I mean, Gum is crazy about Disk, right?"  
  
"Ummm....well, actually.."  
  
"RIGHT! As a matter of fact, I'll step it up a bit. Disk came in here and proposed to her just a day or two ago...and she accepted, didn't she?"  
  
"She kicked him in the face, then shoved the ring into his nose...he can't get it out...surgery is in a week."  
  
"Well, why didn't you say so? It's obvious that Gum's madly in love with Disk. I say we begin preparations for a wedding! Go tell Gum. I'm sure she'll be ecstatic."  
  
"Uh, Clutchy," Jazz began, shifting her eyes, "...isn't this all a bit fast? I mean, they're a little too young, and you're a tad too drunk to be making major decisions right now."  
  
"Pishposh!" Clutch shot back, taking another sip of his Corona, "Now go tell her. And hurry it up!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Scene V - I Would Sooner Marry My Husband!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Bird," Beat pointed up into a nearby tree.  
  
"Plane," Gum pointed off into the distance.  
  
"Ridiculous looking man in red and blue tights flying off to save the city from villains...oh, no, wait, that's a plane too..."  
  
Beat and Gum stood on the balcony overlooking the city. They had been there for hours, simply gazing at the night sky, and at eachother...after they had had a little midnight snack of course...everyone loves pie.  
  
"Oh...there's the sun. Did night pass already? It feels like you just got here."  
  
"I know," Beat said softly, wrapping an arm around Gum, "How about we just pretend it's still night...?"  
  
"Mmm...sounds good..."  
  
"Yo, lovebirds!" Piranha peeked her head in, "you better act fast, cos Jazz is on the way up...I think she wants to talk to you!"  
  
"Drat...Beat, you'd better go...be careful. I don't want anything to happen to you..."  
  
"I will," he affirmed, swinging himself over the railing and down onto the grass below. "I love you," he called up to her, before he jumped the fence, hauling all sorts of ass down the street.  
  
"Ah, Gum," Jazz called from the doorway, "just the girl I wanted to see. I've got some good news."  
  
"Hm?" Gum turned, doing her best to put on an eager face, "good news?"  
  
"Clutch just told me that you and Disk are to be married!"  
  
"....You're joking, right?"  
  
"No, he was pretty serious. He says that he sees past all of your little lovetaps and mindgames. He knows how much you love him."  
  
"...I put him in the hospital three times..."  
  
"Don't play coy," Jazz winked at her...she sounded a bit too happy.  
  
"Are you kidding? I'd rather marry that murdering bastard Beat than Disk. There's no way I'll do it!"  
  
"Nonsense!" Clutch practically yelled, stumbling into the room, Corona still in hand, "you'll marry Disk and that's that! I already woke him up and told him! He's already going to try on tux's!"  
  
Gum rolled her eyes. "Figures."  
  
"I've already set the date for this Thursday!"  
  
"Thursday?!?"  
  
"Thursday!"  
  
"No way!" Gum yelled, pushing Clutch backwards, "Get out!"  
  
"You can't hide your affection, *hiccup*, Gum! I know how much you love Disk!"  
  
"OUT!"  
  
Gum slammed the door shut on Clutch, turning to face Jazz and Piranha. "This is horrible...I can't marry Disk!"  
  
"Well, why not?" Piranha asked, hands on her hips, "Disk is great! He's charming, he's witty...he's loaded."  
  
Gum's eyes widened. "Now you're against me, too 'Rahna? Jazz?"  
  
"I'd say 'go for it', sweetie. Piranha's right, Disk is a great catch."  
  
"That's it! Both of you, get out! OUT!"  
  
The two reluctantly began to make their way out, pushed on by Gum's constant yelling.   
  
"OUT! OUT! OUT!"  
  
She closed the door behind them again, turning and leaning against the door. She sank slowly to a sitting position, tears forming in her eyes. "Beat..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(A/N: ACT III DONE! YAYEEEE!) 


	4. Act IV

(A/N: Sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter up.  I finally know what everyone else is going through juggling projects.  I've got…*counts…uses two hands…* 7!  I'll try and pump 'em out quicker.  That said, enjoy Act IV!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Act IV-Oh Sweet Irony!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene I-Disk The Desperate

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Father Garam and Disk stood in the large, carpeted aisle of the 24-Hour Wed 'n Bed (buy two weddin's get the third one free).  The building was, in a former life, an IHOP (International House Of Pancakes), and as such still reeked of rancid bacon and maple syrup.  The floors were still covered with linoleum, and the door still had a large dancing flapjack on the front. 

"So," Disk said smugly, "what do you think of that Gum?  That's some sweet ass piece of pie right there, eh?"

Garam stared blankly at him, bloodshot eyes hidden behind his fly-eye goggles.  "Oh man," he muttered, "I have no idea what's going on right now…damn those were some good brownies."

"Oh yeah," Disk continued obliviously, strutting back and forth in front of Garam, "I'm gonna get a slice of that!  You know what I mean, right Father?  Oh, that's right!" he added deliberately, "You wouldn't know at all, Mr.Vow of Celibacy."

"Boy, I oughta smack the hell out of you!" Garam snapped, squinting at him, "If there weren't about seven of you…and one behind me…what's all this vow of celibacy crap?  Father's just a formal term…most girls end up calling me 'Daddy'."

Disk grimaced.  "Yeah…anyway…you think this will be a good place for Gum to get married?"

Garam gave a skeptic look about.  "Not as good as the place she got married in last time," he muttered.

"What was that?" Disk asked.

"Um…I said…I like food in space and hairy crime."

"I think you oughta lay off the brownies, Father."

"Screw you."

"Yyyeah…So I was thinking we'd walk down through here," Disk began again, nonplussed, "and right before we trade vows, I'd give her the ring."  He dug around in his pocket, producing a small gold band with…something sparkly at the top.

Garam squinted, the 'brownie-vision' still apparent.  "Those are some nice rings you got there.  But what's that little shiny thing there?  Is that a piece of glitter?"

"That's the diamond.  Well, actually, it's cubic zirconium.  Cool, huh?"

"Not as good as the one Beat gave her…"

"What?"

"I said screw you."

"You're mean."

"Your mother."

"…Ah!  There's my little Gum-mi bear!" Disk cried, looking at Gum standing by the door.

"Hello Disk…" she replied, distaste apparent in her voice.

"Now now, my pet," he replied, smugness quickly returning to his voice as she walked toward the two, "no need to call me Disk anymore.  When it's just us, you may call me by my real name.  Ferguson Bartholomew Johannsen III…or Fergy."

Gum's eyes narrowed.  "Whatever, Disk."

"Fergy."

"Shut up."

"You know, this backtalk is _sooo _not gonna fly when we're married."

"Go away, Disk.."

"Fergy."

Father Garam spoke up, waving Disk away with one hand.  "It's time for you to leave now, Disk…me and Gum have to discuss some wedding plans.  I got you an early gift though."  He reached into the pockets of his robe, bringing out a small paperback book.  "It's called "Jet Set Romeo and Juliet".  By a guy named Lotus.  Thought you should give it a read."

Disk snatched the book away from Garam, striding away.  His voice was heard from the door.  "Ooooh...soft pages…"

"Alright, listen up Gum, cos I'm gonna save your ass here, alright?  I've been working in my…ahem…garden, and lately I've been trying out some cross pollination.  Along with some…extremely, _extremely _potent strains of…herb, I've found a few that actually stop all respiratory and circulatory functions, making you appear…well, pretty much dead.  It wears off after about 2 days."

Gum looked at him skeptically.  "How do you know that?"

"Found it out the hard way," Garam replied with a grin, "they were lowering me into the ground when I woke up.  Why do you think they kicked me out of the convent?"

"Sorry I asked…"

"Most are."

"Just give me the stuff."

"Here.  Smoke it wisely, my child."

"Shut up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene II-Forgiveness Is Thine, Sweet Child O' Mine!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gum forced a smile for the 12th time that hour.  For some reason it just wouldn't stay on.

"Alright," she muttered to herself, "you're happy…you're very very happy…"

She took a deep breath, stuck her stupidest grin on, and stepped into Clutch's room.  He was sitting down on the bed, taking off his skates with one hand and slugging down bottles of Corona with the other.  A small pile of about 6 empty bottles was on his right, with a cooler on his left.

"Ah, there you are!" he cried, slurring a bit, "Excited about tomorrow?"

"Of course!" she replied cheerfully, "I can't wait to marry Disk!"

"That a girl," he said, raising his Corona to the sky, "I'd like to propose a toast!"

Gum glanced from side to side.  "There's no one else here, Clutch."

"Pishposh!" he practically yelled.  "Pisshhh…possyyy…pishyposhy…" he trailed off, amused by the word.

"Maybe you should get some sleep," Gum said, raising an eyebrow while still keeping the smile on, "You want to be well rested for the wedding, don't you?"

"Of course I forgive you!"  
"I…I didn't ask for-"

"SHH!  Do you hear that?"

Silence.

"What is it, Clutch?" Gum whispered.

"The chinchillas…they're coming…they're coming for me!"

"Good night, Clutch."

"'Night, Gum…watch out for the chinchillas."  
"I'll do that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene III-Because I Got High…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gum let out a long, laborious breath.  She'd locked herself in her room, and had been staring at the small bag of weed for the past half-hour.

_Go for it,_ she told herself, _the worst that could happen is that you get high and fall asleep…_

"Ah, what the hell."

She reached towards the bag, picking it up, digging the rolling papers out of her pocket at the same time.

"Hello?  Gum?"

Jazz.

"Yo!  Gum!  Open up, girl!  We wanna talk to you!"  
'Rahna

Cursing under her breath, she put the weed and papers into her side pocket, moving towards the door and unlocking it.  She opened it slowly.  "Hello."

"Why was the door locked?" Jazz asked quizzically.

"Um…woman troubles."

"Ah.  Say no more," Jazz said cheerily, "I have those all the time!"

"Yes, well…thanks for sharing.  Anyway, I'm really tired you guys…you think we could talk some other time?  I need to get some rest.  Tomorrow's the big day!"  She forced that same smile back onto her face.

"Oh, sure," Pirahna said, flashing a grin, "see ya' tomorrow!"

Gum closed the door with a sigh of relief.  Now to get to business.  She sat back onto her bed, removing the contents of her pocket and placing them on her bed.  She rolled herself a nice big fattie, and proceeded to light up…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene IV-OD!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Birds weren't chirping on that day.  The sun wasn't shining, the grass wasn't bright and glistening with dew.  Even the crackheads weren't up for their morning hit.  This, they all knew, was a bad day.

But Jazz didn't know that.

She had woken up hours before, beside Clutch, who for some reason had on only a speedo and an army helmet.  She'd been waiting outside of Gum's room for that long, waiting for the clock to strike six.  When it did, she knocked lightly on the door.

"Gum?  You up?"

No answer.  She knocked again.

"Hello?  Gum?  Rise and shine!"

Still no answer.

Jazz opened the door a crack, poking her head into the room.  "Gum, honey?"

Gum lay, still fully clothed, on the bed, an arm and a leg hanging off the side.  Ashes lay on the floor beside her bed.

Jazz opened the door all the way, tip-toeing into the room, up beside Gum's bed.  "Gum?  Are you alright?"  Jazz shook her lightly, still getting no response.

No…she couldn't be…could she?  
She reached her hand toward Gum's neck, placing two fingers on the girl's jugular…no pulse.

She was dead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(A/N: Drugs are bad!  ^ ^ One more chapter to go.  I'll try and get it out faster than this one.  YARR!)


	5. Act V

(A/N: It's good to be back…really, it is.  Sorry it's taken so long…man, I feel like Tank. =D One huge thing I'm noticing is a mass (opposite of exodus) of new people *must not use the word 'newb'*.  Well, only time will tell if this is a good or bad thing – and I'd also like to take a time-out to give a hearty salute to 'Lulah for being able to review practically EVERY SINGLE chapter of EVERY SINGLE fic out there.  Hot damn!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Act V – Doom!

~~~~~~~~

Scene I – F'ed up Dreams and Dead Chicks

~~~~~~~~

Beat… 

"Gum?"

Beat… 

"Who's there?"

Beat… 

Sleep-crusted eyes opened, and Beat found himself lying face-down in the middle of Verona-Cho Square.  Dim moonlight lit the place, and he was able to make out another figure.  He wasn't sure how…for he knew he hadn't walked…or even skated…but he was suddenly there, staring down at the girl.  

"No…this can't be…"

But it was, and he had known it from the start.  The prone body with that green sundress, the striped socks, and the grey helmet.  It had been, was, and always would be, Gum.

Beat wanted to cry.  He wanted to cry and cry and cry until he was fresh out of tears, and the blood came instead. Wanted to cry until his face tinted crimson and he looked like a junkie fresh out of a moshpit.  

But the tears wouldn't come.  He gasped and sobbed and retched until he thought he would be ill…but nothing happened.  Gum's lifeless body still lay there on the concrete beside the crying Beat.  

Nothing…

Beat… 

"What?"

Beat! 

"Who's there?"

Beat!  Wake up! 

A sharp backhand to the jaw told Beat…well, many things.  One, that he had been dreaming.  Two, that Gum was not dead.  Three, that whoever had slapped him would catch it baaaaad…

"Who the…?" Beat protested, eyes blinking away the tinted morning-vision.  It was Beta, his landlord.  

"Boy…get the hell up!  I ain't no damn message service!  Lucky I actually bothered to give your punk ass this note.  Hmph…" he shoved the crumpled up piece of paper into Beats hands, and pulled an about-face, giving Beat a nice eyeful of...hindquarter.

"Check that out…it say UPS on there?"

"No…but get it the hell away from _me_!"

Beta stomped off, slamming the door on his way out.  He had always been nice like that.  

But Beat couldn't complain.  Father Garam and Beta learned the art of… "gardening" together, and the Father had gotten Beat the apartment for dirt cheap…which summed up the appearance of the place.  

Beat opened the piece of paper with a sigh, reading the sloppy handwriting as best he could.

_Graham cllaed._

_Yur bich is ded._

_Bring him summore brownee micks._

_And sum freetos._

_And sum pop tarts._

_And sum nachos._

_And sum soft surv frozin yogurt._

_And sum pork chops._

_Yur bich is ded._

_And sum pudding._

_And sum wyte-owt._

Beat must have been running on empty that morning, for he actually read that far down before his brain finally wrapped itself around the idea.

"My…my bitch is dead…?" he whispered raggedly. 

But he couldn't believe it.  It had to be a mistake.  To hell with Onishima…he was going to Verona-Cho this day!

~~~~~~~~

Scene II – Customs is a Bitch!

~~~~~~~~

"Another day, another…shit, what was I gonna do?"

It wasn't hard to guess that Father Garam was toking up once again.

"Ooooh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weineerr…cos that is what I'd truly like to beeeee…"

It went on for quite some time, the Father paying homage to one of the greatest munchies on the face of the earth…cold hot dogs.

Around the fourth verse, however, Garam was interrupted…unfortunate.

Knock knock knock, went the door.  Garam turned 'round (now, somehow in his underwear and holding a comb that was doubling as a microphone), and stomped over to the door.  Knock knock knock, it said.

First he kicked it.  

Knock knock knock, went the door.

Then he punched it.

Knock knock knock, went the door.

And then he remembered that doors don't make noise.  So he opened it.  And kicked what was on the other side.

"Ouch ouch ouch," went the man.

"Who the hell is you?" Garam demanded…of course, at this point, everyone looked like gummy bears.  With claws.

"It's Beta, fool!  Shooot…kicking me when I come back to tell you something important.  I should just let that Beat sucka' off himself."

This, of course, sobered the Father right up…sort of like eating the worm in a bottle of tequila, and then realizing that you've been talked into tightrope walking between the top of the Twin Towers.

"No, no, no, c'mere…I'm sorry, man.  What happened?"

"Well…it was sorta my bad, y'see.  I was a little bit…" And here he coughed, whether suggestive, or from emphysema, who could tell?  "…high…and I wrote down that Gum was dead…for real."

The Father scowled…and then cussed.  A lot.

I won't go into much detail, but let's just say that in the time Garam spent parading around the place in his underwear, swearing in every language he knew, he probably could have met Beat at the train station, and explained to him what the hell was going on.  When he got it out of his system, though, he calmly put on some clothes…threw a shirt and pants on…though he might have mixed the two up.  Fortunately, there was already a hole cut in the crotch of the pants.  Don't ask why.

Don't do drugs, kiddies.

~~~~~~~~

Scene III – You All Knew It Was Coming…Mucho Death!

~~~~~~~~

It had taken two trains, four taxis, and one rather surprised man with a Toyota, but Beat had finally made it to his destination.  

Tokyo-To Cemetery.

It had always been a depressing place, as all graveyards were.  Cement blocks that served as drop-off spots for flowers, balloons, and other such gifts.  The dead were just that; what use did they have for roses, or heart-shaped, helium filled ozone diminishers (balloons, people).  

That's what Beat, thought, anyway.

But none of this was on his mind…nothing but Gum, now.

He reached a hand into his pocket, withdrawing a small tube; it looked like it would hold a roll of film quite nicely.  But he wasn't here to take pictures…he was here to see Gum one last time…and then be at peace forever.

He stepped nimbly past the tombstones, not caring what spirits he angered by walking across their burial sites.  He knew where he was going.

A small part of the cemetery had been sectioned off especially for those rudies that met an untimely death, for whatever reason.  It was a large circle, surrounded by hedges twice as tall as a grown man.  The only way in or out was a large gate, that had been constructed by the rudies themselves, in a joint effort.  Heh…joint.  

Unfortunately, when Beat got there, he was not alone.  Disk, Gum's would-be groom, was already trying to force his way inside, his weak, flimsy shoulder enduring more and more abuse as it slammed into the sturdy wooden gate time and time again.  This, of course, in accordance with Newton's thirty-seventh law, that men with muscles smaller than rolled-up newspapers (the weekday edition, mind you) will be unable to bend or break anything stronger than cotton.

"Open, damn you!  Open!"

Beat arched a brow, lifting his sunglasses.  "I'm not sure the gate can hear you, Disk."

Disk whirled, blue-green veins pumping blood to tired biceps.  Beneath his shirt, bruises were already forming.  "I know you!  You're that murderer!  What are _you _doing here?!"

"Relax.  I just came to visit Gum one last time.  Then I'll be gone…I promise."

"Hold on a sec…" And Disk reached into his pocket, producing a small, paperback book; the title read "Jet Set Romeo and Juliet."  Disk thumbed through the pages…seemed to find the one he was looking for, and read over it.  "Aha!  Says here that we have to fight, and then you kill me…WAIT!  That can't be right!  I'm the hero!"  
And so it went for another few minutes, with Disk crying like a 5 year old, and Beat standing there, doing nothing.

"I've got a better idea, Disk.  How about you just take a couple of these?"  And that black canister was held up, the top removed.  "Hold out your hand."

Disk obeyed, and had two small, white tablets poured into his hand.  He popped them into his mouth, and swallowed.

"What are they, Advil?  I've been having some really bad migraines lately.  Of course, that's how all the people in my family are.  In fact, my uncle Richie, one time, told me that when I was really little, the entire family was taken aboard a UFO called the S.S. Arkabama, and they did creepy experiments on all of us, and that's why our heads hurt all the time.  Do you think there's an actual school for bullfighters, or do they just grab a guy from the stands, dress him like a pimp, and send him out there with a red cape?  Hey, weren't you supposed to-"

Disk's ramblings were cut off, unfortunately, as his heart stopped pumping blood.  Were someone to try and take his blood pressure, they would feel nothing.  If someone down at the morgue tried to pump his stomach, they would find a squeaky toy, two ballpoint pens, a CD for 1045 hours of free AOL (Broken into small pieces, or course), and a phone cord.

But Beat simply walked past Disk's prone body, and did what Disk had never thought to do – climb the fence.  

On the other side, Gum was there, doing a fabulous impersonation of a dead person.  Her body, due to financial reasons, had not yet been placed in a casket, and was laying on a cement pedestal.  Clutch, it seemed, had, during one of his Corona binges, bought Algeria on eBay with all of the Capulets' money.  

Beat approached the pedestal, and knelt next to her, taking her hand in his.  As was appropriate for the occasion, he was crying.

No time for wasted words, and he simply took two of the small, white pills.  Rat poison.  There was room for two on the pedestal, and he lay down beside her, offering one last kiss…and trying not to think of necrophilia…as the last of his life slipped away.  Beat did not move again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You all should know the rest.  Gum awoke later, feeling dazed, and with a bit of a hangover.  She saw Beat.  Cried, and found his film canister.  Two pills left for her, which she gladly took.  Three deaths already…this was sure to be on the news.

Father Garam, Clutch, Jazz, Piranha, and the rest of the Capulets arrived the next morning, and saw the two of them, lying side by side.  Father Garam explained the situation to them…though he had to reiterate it several times, as they kept looking at each other and muttering things like "He's stoned again." Or "Just nod and smile…he's high."

They eventually believed him, however, and the two were buried together in the Rudie Graveyard.  Some people cried.  Some didn't.  Some people wore black for days after.  Most didn't.

Onishima retired two years after that, and was replaced by a rookie fresh from the academy, by the name of Hayashi.

Clutch was caught Skating under the Influence, and was sentenced to 40 hours of community service.

Jazz got pregnant…but not by Clutch.  She named the baby boy Clutch Jr. anyway, much to Yo-Yo's dismay.

Piranha went on to be a Hooters girl.  She looks damn good in orange shorts and a tank-top.

Father Garam was caught selling his "Magic Veggie" to minors, and ran like the wind.  He was last seen in America, under the assumed name of "Albert Sharpton".

THE END


End file.
